Because while I haven't been whining out loud (much), I've been whining inside my head quite a bit. I'm tired of all this paperwork and waiting and I'm ready to bring my daughter home. Now. I don't want to wait another week to hear that we have travel approval. I'm just really done with waiting.
We first saw H's picture in December of 2010. That was a long time ago. Too long it seems, and I have hit the wall. I want her to know she has a family. I want to be able to have doctors examine her and see if anything can be done to relieve the pain she is in. I want to be able to hold her and tell her I love her. I want to show her the clothes I have bought for her and the doll I've made. I want to find out what she likes and doesn't like. I want to know what makes her laugh. I want her to know she is loved forever.
I told my friend Ann today that it feels as though I am pregnant and overdue and just waiting and waiting until the baby arrives. Except that I can see my feet and move without difficulty. (These are not small things, I realize.) But really adoption insanity and pregnancy insanity are pretty much the same otherwise. I'm ready to be done with it and to see what our new normal is going to look like.
I mean it.